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pwned.
smile like you mean it.
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philly just called!
he's coming over for a sleepoverrr
it's twenty past one in the morning, but i miss hiiim.
i'm going to make him stay up til 5am with me haha
so he's tired and sleepy for uni tomorrow.
YAY YAY YAY YAY YAYYY!!
[yay]
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i can't waaait til i have money again hahaha.
everything i am going to spend it on.
2 phone bills = $250
new camera = $500
winter coat = $200
2 x winter boots = $400
millions of pair of heels
sass & bide jeans $190
sportsgirl dresses
take kittycat out like 4 nights in a row = $200
get bulk photos developed
save for borneo
save for bali
yuck.
too much money needed and way too much to think of.
the dalai lama is right. life is so much simpler and more satisfying when it is less complicated, and when we want less.
my problem is, i want too muchh.
ohhhh shittt.
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it's love it's love it's love make it hurt. i don't ever want to grow up. i don't want to be an adult with adult problems. i want to be a kid. it was so much easier when school was all to worry about. when relationships felt 'so old' but we really are just children. i don't want mine and phil's relationship to turn like adult. with real adult problems. and having to make really obscure times to see each other cos we're busy all day =[ that'd suck.
there's something so honest about trees in autumn. they're experts at letting things go.
i love that quote. walking to tegan's house the other day, with all the beautiful trees dropping their orange maple leaves. it's not like my mum says, that it makes the yards look untended. they look so lived in and real and playful and beautiful. i've always wanted to live in a neighbour like that. where trees line the long street.
i want winter clothes, but more than that, i want it to be summer again.
in summer, everyone is having fun and doing nothing every day, and you can call up any of your friends and see them.
i am soo not having my fulltime job once summer gets here. yuck. |
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we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding.
"in the west, you have bigger homes, yet smaller families; you have endless conveniences, yet you never have any time. You can travel anywhere in the world, yet you don't bother to cross the road to meetyour neighbours; you have more food than you could possibly eat, yet that makes some people so unhappy and unhealthy."
All major religions, when understood properly, have the same potential to do good.
Violence is unpredictable, and often only causes more problems.
Buddhists are taught that if there is something you can do about a situation, you must do it immediately. But if there is nothing you can do, don't worry - that is indulgent.
Anger, is definitely not the answer. Anger prevents you from making good decisions.
it is a waste of your life to always be thinking about the next meal if you don't have to. |
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a thousand words that you should hear 'cos you're nothing less than perfect for me my head in my hands our toes beneath the sand I'd give anything to see you happy things are getting better
just give me one more chance to say this
and we'll see what changes
a different town a different school
just promise you'll stay cool
together we will get you through this your brilliant stare
concentrating
all eyes on you
when everything's in focus
you'll remember the one who wrote this
and you'll see
he'd do anything for you staring at your picture I'm pretending that you're here
as the subtle silence seems to kill me
remembering the day just before you went away
how can she leave
how can she leave when there's still lots more to see know that we are stronger
because of everything we've gone through
and I'm hung up on you
so take this drink with me tonight
I promise that you'll be all right
let me drink a dream with you |
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i went to tegey's house yesterday. hadn't seen her since my birthday. i never would have thought, three years ago, that out of all the 'rockin club' members, she would be the one i'd be closest to. i probably would have thought that she wouldn't see any of us. or that she'd still be going to parties with her brothers, and not living or doing anything fun or whatever. but she's the one with me that has gone to all the leeming parties, when laura and kristen and kimberley have been to like none.
i would be so unhappy now if all i were doing these days was studying. for another 3 years. to me, that would be wasting my youth. i want to be young while i am young. and have fun and work and get money and then go travel and be young some more. and it's not my right to critisize how people live their own lives, because that's just silly but like... aunno. i would just be really unsatisfied if i only saw the same people every week and never met anyone new or exciting who has one arm or is a marine about to go to iraq, again. and i HATE people that generalise or objectify people by the five seconds of judgement they give them. i love meeting new people with different views of the world and different backgrounds and ideas and just different PEOPLE. even though like, at footy club... all the boys there, well easily 100 or the 120, are roughly the same person. they do the same things and see the same people and believe that football is a calling in life. they have no idea, nor car, about what actually goes on.
but whetever. s'if i have any say anyway. |
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a song written about the amazing flora and fauna that australia has to offer which should attract tourists =p red back, funnelweb, blue ringed octopus
taipan, tigersnake, atterbox, jellyfish, stonefish
and the poison thing that lives in a shell
that spikes you when you pick it up come to australia
you might accidentally get killed
your life's constanrtly under threat
have you been bitten yet?
you've only got three minutes left
before a massive coronary breakdown red back, funnelweb, blue ringed octopus
taipan, tigersnake, atterbox, jellyfish, stonefish
big shark, just waiting for you to go swimming,
at bondi beach come to australia
you might accidentally get killed
your blood is bound to be spilled
your pants are bound to get filled
because you might accidentally get killed. did anybody see rove on jay leno last monday or tuesday night? with doctor phil?
i hope it's on youtube.... =/ |
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//shoppingg today. got a short blue sweater dress from kookai and two gorgeousss grey knit short dress thingsss from sportsgirl. the footy club tonight. hopefully daniel will work the bar. i hope smallman comes. she's the biggest load of fun. in pants.
went into freo today to see the human battery cage. [humanbatterycage.com] it's like an organisation that protests chickens being kept in battery cages, and humans sit in like a human sized one.
we met this weird dancing scotsman last night. we were just walking down south terrace which was crowded and there was one group of people busking, like 5 of them, one with a weird metallic guitar, one guy with some pennies [or the australian equivalent lol] and chicks with weird plastic things, and this guy started dancing to the music next to cat.he was talking but we couldnt really understand or hear. then cat stopped to get money out of the atm and he was asking my opinion on which colour chair he should throw at the hippies to shut them up haha. red, blue, or yellow. i said yellow cos it's a passive colour and they won't expect it. he kept going, yellow? yellow? yellow?
bail time. |
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wednesday featured lunch with philowen @ dome. i had a giant stack of orgasm-good pancakes. wednesday night newport for the usual fun, cept it stayed open til 1 in honour of the marines docked and was even better. phil slept over and then on thursday we went for lunch @ the moon in leederville. cutest atmosphere.
went shopping with kate r & cat for thursday night, met up with adam r, luke, fergie and cossie to see spiderman 3... biggest piece of ass. i thought with the huge budget, it might have a half decent storyline or they might have employed decent writers, or make up artists that would make the actors look a little less albino. sadly, this didn't happen. the best part was stan lee's cameo, definitely, where he said something about how cool it is that one guy can change the world so much. the movie was shit but we had fun mocking it. i think cat and i fell asleep through one part and woke up and nothing much had changed. it started at 930 and finished after midnight. GGF, spiderman.
went to leach hwy, saw rhett and chris, and then luke fergs and adam came too. kelly gave us free slushies. biggest score. as we were leaving, we saw nathan and nick and they showed us the shoes they found in their ute after last tuesday night at the OBH. i was gonna claim them but got distracted.
went into freo tonight with the girls for dome ice things. dai & mickey a joined after pauls shindig in little creatures, and tom & belle came for a chat. everyone left and went with cat to newport. saw dean chappell...hooking up with elli del borello!!! she said hi and he was like eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. also saw him getting kicked out which was the funniest thing i saw aaall night. he didnt do anything wrong, he was just completely trashed and couldnt walk straight. saw julie, lee, dannaz. got bored and went into the clink. biggest mistake. ten dollar entry... its like UNDERGROUND... and there were pretty much like thirty people. worst. never making that mistake again.
hit up metros, hung with sundo jenny and gannaz for a bit, it was funny as with jenny & cat, so awkward. they were both trying to have all of sundos attention, all the time, hahaha. gannaz and i just gave up and piked.
went n stood outside hj's and watched a crazy bitch flail around on the ground and get sat on by 4 metros security guards haha and then the three hot bleck guys from wednesday came and said hey. phirrip came so i left and cat bailed after.
i have work tomo. rehhh. only for four hours from 4pm - 8 but biggestt cbf. going to footy club for this weird tshirt party where u buy a tshirt and it has like twenty squares, and 16 are beers, or cruisers or whatever, and you tick one every time u have a drink, and four are shots. not gonna bother buying the tee though. going with bree kater cat cint phirp and sundo so should be good as. dannaz is working the bar so he said he'll shout us all some.
i'm celebratiiiing that i got the job. i really didnt think i would. i answered the questions soo shitly.
but. pretty sweet. i am now employed by somewhere with a private gym!!! sweeet... thats pretty much the only reason i wanted this job haha. and for the pennies so we can save for bali & borneo.
but yer =/
i start monday the 14th.
better be ace.
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when i'm right, no one remembers, when i'm wrong, no one forgets.
last night was good as... punch and pie. got to freo around 930 then walked down an alley to a car park so we could drink without getting done for street drinking and we saw three random shadows coming towards and freaked, thinking they were killers haha. turned out they were only drug dealers. haha. three pretty cool guys, who offered to give us a ride home later if we needed, which was nice, not that we would have actually taken it though. it was weird, one guy was aboriginal, muk was african american, and kit was chinese. weird how none of them were white. except all the other drug dealers i know [like. two. ha] are white so it doesn't say much. they were decent guys. just with a sad profession. they kept asking if we wanted rock. we were like 'aaaaaaaaaaaah!!.. uhhh no thanks.' i was like scared to offend them.
ranywayy.
newport was kk. hung out with jim from school lots and the cute guy she was with, whose name is phil! so there's two jaimi/jayme and phil couples. hell good. danced. got groped. got shitty. elbowed some guy haha. saw daniel boone haha. hung out with tim and pj and chris a bit. lost shockingly at pool. danced with a guy in a bright red button up shirt that was pulling napolean dynamite dance moves. julie & i sexy danced on him. that was mean. and took bulk photos. i almost kicked a girl in the head when kate russells thing luke picked me up when we were dancing and took me by surprise.
i was talking to a guy for like twenty minutes before i realised he only had half of his left arm. but he was awesome. he was friends with this guy lee that cat met like 5 years ago in rotto and hung out with. both cat and i had to pretend lee was our boyfriend at one stage cos this sailor kept coming up and not getting the hint. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A SAILOR haha. if i had, i would've danced with him! i didn't realise the americans were docked. normally when they are there's hell more.
it closed at one, phil and sundo came and picked us up. i was standing on the corner by myself waiting for him and singing put your hands up for detroit and some guy goes 'MATE... WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?' i was like 'uhhhh. put your hands up... put your hands up. put your hands up for detroit!' and then he goes 'i love this cityyyy'. then he came up and was like 'i'm from oklahoma. this is the most amazing place i've ever been. i have to get back on the ship in five hours and i'm looking for somewhere to chill.'
i was like 'ohhh hell cool!' then phil and sundo pulled up and were like GET IN and cat got in and i go 'uhhh we're just going back to someone's house to chill. you can come if you want?' and he's like cool. and they were like NO! so i was like come ON guys he's a sailor! he's leaving in five hours! he just wants to hang! he's going to iraq! and then he goes 'no, i've already been to iraq, and i'm going back. i'm a marine.' then i was like 'SHITTT COMEON LET HIM COME' and they were liek no and he's like 'whatever we do is fine' so i said 'uhhh me and him are gonna have sex, and that guys gonna go home, and so is that girl. then he was like 'oh. okay.'
and they made me get in the car. and phil was calling him a faggot. jerk. i slapped him upside the head twice. and screamed about how phil was a pussy and would never understand what it was like to go fight for your country and possibly have fucking five hours left to live, and they can't hang out with him for one night? they reckon he was just trying to get in my pants but who fucking cares. what else would you do if you had to leave and go to war in 5 hours? he just wanted to hang. now i'm sad again. i got really pissed at the boys for talking about what a faggot he was. fucking losers.
it was a good night. specially when detroit came on and cat and julie and me danced by ourselves with bulk people looking at us weirdly. fuckyaaaa.
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i will breathe into your lungs.
for your heart is fierce.
leavin this town.
goodbye.
hittin the town with kitty tonight.
should be an adventure.
fuck knows how we're getting home.
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job interview at hatch engineering today. got home so pumped. it was pretty good. alahna called me this morning and said she'd met with a few candidates and she thought i was the favourite, so the hell nervous sick feeling from my stomach went away. it was good, i could tell they liked me, even though i stuffed up some questions and they had to rephrase it so i understood haha. prolly hear on friday if i got it. but it got me thinking. when i was younger, i didnt dream the things i want now. now i just want a fun corporate job so i can buy pretty grey and black business suits and knits and cute clothes and cute heels. shit reason. so im thinking of actually going and doing nursing. since i always dreamed of one day writing, but first having an unconventional job that will let me travel eventually, so then i can write about it later. but no one says i have to figure it out yet i guess. i felt so good after i went looking for hot shoes i can wear hahaha but the only place i found some i liked was in mollini. they were okay in shoozbiz i guess. i'm starting to hate betts and zu. they never design anything innovative. they just wait for the new season's designs to come out and then mimic those. boring. last night phil took me to the revolving restaraunt for dinner. it was so fun but way trippy. but so cool. but the food was sooo expensive. i had two glasses of cabernet merlot with my chicken. it was so nice. phil got the steak, i think it was the fillet. tonight we're going to carnegies again for the tuesday thing. it's fun as, with $6 sex on the beaches. tomorrow night my friend's band Varial is playing at the foundry AGAIN!!! [they liked them heaps last week!] so we'll go watch probly. tonight's dinner really hit the spot. i'd so much rather go out every night, spesh weekend nights, instead of chilling like villains at someones house. it's always lame and we have to leave by 12 or 1 or 2. and its bulk overrated. really not much fun. i'd rather dance all night. it's good company but. eh. =/ i'd much rather be out with just cat tearing it up and doing the funnest random stuff. metros this saturday night with all the girls will be good. i have an 18th to go to as well but i dunno if i'll swing by.
we'll see.
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i am so in love with andrew & hayley. there is nothing cuter than a real life totallyinlove couple. especially when he's a fireman! ahaha i am going to marry them. if they don't marry each other first. the truth is, that i've never fallen so hard.
it's taken everything in me.
  i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find
without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
and if you'd 'a took to me like
well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
and the rest of our lives would 'a fared well i can't remember why we were friends.
i just remember how good it felt. i won't.
be the one to disappoint you
anymore. |
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 i'm sorry and i'm sorry i can't say it to your face. |
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i could listen to you sing all day long. it wouldn't be long enough. the world is a shithole.
or. just our society. how come if attractive but dumb people have something to say, or unnattractive but intelligent people have something to say, the attractive person's opinion always means more. or what they have to say matters more. in my opinion, you don't get heard by anyone that matters, if you don't conform. i would so much rather be one of those people that has no problems, because they CHOOSE to have no problems. i get along with everyone okay. i'm happy if no one imposes. i do alright. but then other people will hassle me about things they can't get over, or stuff to complain about, or they take their insecurities out on me and it fezzes with shit i don't want fezzed with. fezz you. i should stop being kind to people that end up not being at all kind to me. what's the point? they never learn. they never look back and go 'shit. i was fucking rude.' or 'shit. that was mean of me.' so. wtf. does anyone that does not live in australia know what the word 'barrack' means? i am so getting into footy now. greatesttt game today!!! dockers won by a point! sweeeet. greatest climax too, cos they kicked the last goal with like 40 seconds left. horrrr yerrrrrr! cat & i are gonna start going to the seaview to watch the dockers games, since it's owned by like three dockers players, and they have all the games on live, so it'll be the greatest place to celebrate after a win. but bulk places in freo i guess. i could never cheat on phirrip owen. cos i can't lie to him. so i would have to tell him. and then i would lose him so i would lose more than he would. the end. northbridge was okay last night. mostly boring. got a couple of hours of dancing in. then phirrip picked me up at 1230/1ish. we watched subway monkey hour. i wouldnt mind marrying tom green. i can laugh for hours with that guy. i was in a horrible upset mood with the shit that went down last night and tom green... saved myyy sense of humor.
legend. |
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it's not like i think about this constantly.
last nite i woke up and was hoping i could cuddle u but u werent there.
enough said. i'm done for. |
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i won't.
be the one.
to disappoint you.
anymore.
how do you justify doing something you didn't do? |
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